Short stuff

It seems I am shrinking.

For years I thought I was taller than I actually am.  That magic spell was broken when I went to the doctor and was measured and weighed.

(As an aside, it cracks me up that they weigh and measure me every time I visit the doctor.  As if my height has any effect on my latest ailment.  Having a complete physical?  Step onto the scale.  Got a sinus infection?  Let’s see if the top of your head is sinking into your sinus cavity.)

This is a fairly accurate transcription of the interaction between me and a nurse at my doctor’s office during my latest visit.

Nurse: Okay, you are sixty five and a half inches.

Me: I’m kind of autistic when it comes to math.  How tall is that in feet?

Nurse (after thinking for a moment): Five-foot-five and a half.

Me (laughing): That can’t be right!

Nurse: Why not?

Me: Because I’m five feet six inches.

Nurse: I’m afraid not.

Me (no longer laughing): I didn’t lose a half inch.  Maybe I just wasn’t standing up straight. Measure me again.

Nurse: The doctor is waiting to see you, you know.

Me (stepping back onto the scale/height measuring doohickie): I doubt it.  I’ve never waited less than ten minutes.  We have time.  Now, measure me!

Nurse (sighing): Sixty five and a half.

Me: Maybe my shoes would make me taller.

(I usually take my shoes off to skim off the extra half pound or so they add to my weight.)

Nurse: Your shoes are already on.

Me: Well, shit.

First off, I’d like to know why I was under the impression that I was five-foot-six for the last decade or so when I really wasn’t.  Someone obviously made a serious miscommunication to me regarding my height somewhere along the way.

But, what if I really was five-foot-six at one point in the recent past?  Where did that extra half inch go?  I know that people shrink as they get older.  My five-foot-nine great-grandmother had shrunk nearly half a foot by the time she died in her early nineties.  But I’m still (supposedly) in the prime of my life.  I can’t be shrinking yet!

I like being somewhere between five-foot-five-and-a-half and five-foot-six.  I’m tall enough to reach things, but I don’t tower over people like an Amazon.  Most boys are taller than me, so I feel petite and feminine around them, the way I’m supposed to.  But I’m still tall enough to intimidate a bratty preteen who’s giving me lip.  It’s a good balance.  I just want that extra half inch back.

How tall are you?  Do you like your height?  Has it ever gotten in the way?  Have you ever wished you were a different height?

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. curlywurlygurly
    May 08, 2009 @ 07:43:54

    i’m 5’5 on tippy toes (technically 5’4?)…and it doesn’t get in the way but i sure wish i was a few inches taller so pants would fit me length-wise. i’m too tall for petite and too short for regular. so i either have floods or my pants puddle on the floor. oh, what i’d do for lonnnngggg legs…

    Reply

  2. Joy
    May 08, 2009 @ 10:02:30

    I’m 5’7 and love my height. Like you said, tall enough but not to tall. I’ve always liked being a little taller than most people I know.

    Reply

  3. nutmegnanny
    May 08, 2009 @ 14:44:29

    For years I have telling a lie that I’m 5’4 but really I’m only 5’3. I absolutely hate my height. I have always wanted to be 5’8 but with a mom that is 4’11 and a dad that is 5’7 I’m was not destined to be tall. The biggest problem is have with being short is the fact that I can never reach anything inside my kitchen cabinets. I’m continually grabbing a stool just to see what on my top shelf. At my bosses house it’s even worse because their cabinets go all the way to the top of their 10 foot ceilings. It’s a total pain in the ass. I find when I need something in their house I grab a long kitchen wooden spoon, jump and attempt to hit what I need on the top and then hope I catch it when it come flying down off the shelf. It’s really not the safest way to retrieve an item but most of the time it works.

    Reply

    • megan
      May 08, 2009 @ 23:21:35

      If it makes you feel any better, I’m in the same boat when it comes to high-up objects in the kitchen. The top cupboard is reserved for lightweight foodstuffs, like crackers and marshmallows (to ease the injury factor), and those staples that one should have in their cupboard but uses once in a blue moon. I often have to climb up onto the counter to get things from that shelf. I could use a chair, but I’m usually too lazy.

      Reply

  4. Gary
    May 08, 2009 @ 18:26:39

    You know, I recently had that same experience at the doctor’s office also Megan. I USED to be 5′ 10″ tall but now I am all of a sudden 5′ 9″ tall. I have lost a whole inch somewhere!! WTF???

    I always wanted to be closer to the 6 foot height. 5′ 10″ wasn’t tooooo bad but now that I am 5′ 9″, I wish I was closer to 6 foot again. 😀

    Reply

  5. that girl
    May 08, 2009 @ 22:50:16

    I don’t know my actual height. I think I’m 5’7″ but I could be shorter… and I guess taller, too.

    We you taller in the ’80s? Did you used to have big hair? If so, maybe that’s where the height has gone. 😀

    Reply

    • megan
      May 08, 2009 @ 23:16:20

      Haha… My hairstyles throughout the decades are a completely different post! Let’s just say for now that there wasn’t a can of hairspray that would keep my hair aloft for more than a couple seconds. So, to answer your question, no, I don’t think the decreasing height of hair had much to do with my shrinkage.

      Reply

  6. Thom
    May 09, 2009 @ 16:35:32

    Well maybe your doc appt was later in the afternoon? You know you are about a 1/2 inch taller when you first get out of bed? Then gravity slowly compresses your spinal column through out the day and you do shrink a bit.

    That’s all I’ve got. 🙂

    Reply

  7. Matt
    May 10, 2009 @ 17:57:32

    Maybe the scale/height measuring doohickie gained half an inch somehow, therefore you appeared to lose half an inch via its warped scale. Umm that explains it!

    Reply

  8. Amy
    May 11, 2009 @ 01:23:17

    I’m 5’5″ (at least I was the last time I was measured, which was many moons ago, but now I am getting nervous). I find it a perfectly suitable height. Not too tall, not too short. The only time I wish I were taller is when a) I’m around my freakishly tall cousins (then again my cousin models, so height is just one way in which I start feeling inferior around her 🙂 ) and b) when I’m in large crowds looking for someone. Wouldn’t it be great to see above everyone’s heads to be able to spot the person you are searching for?

    Reply

  9. plumpdumpling
    May 11, 2009 @ 09:24:34

    For 20-odd years of my life, I was under the impression that I was 5’7″. I had convinced myself that it was the perfect height. But in college, I started working for a children’s science museum with a talking giraffe that measured your height and told it to you. And every single day, it told me I was 5’6″.

    I didn’t believe it, obviously, and you shouldn’t, either.

    Reply

  10. Matt
    May 11, 2009 @ 11:51:04

    Lol, you should never believe a talking giraffe, especially the ones that measure, they’re the
    worst kind.

    Reply

  11. Matt
    May 11, 2009 @ 12:36:55

    This new blog layout
    formats my r
    eplies
    oddly.

    Hmm.

    Reply

  12. Mike
    May 28, 2009 @ 10:50:38

    Just so you know… I stole that half inch from you while you were sleeping so that I could officially be 6 feet tall (I was 5 feet 11.5 inches). I was thinking that you wouldn’t notice. Sorry.

    Reply

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