A theory on dental cleanings

My dentist cracks me up.  He uses the word “awesome” in lieu of “OK” or “um” or almost any other “filler” word.  I don’t think it’s an attempt to be “cool” for the younger generation; he can’t be even close to my parents’ age.  

This is the conversation we usually have after the hygienist finishes her cleaning:

Dentist: So, how are the teeth feeling?  Everything awesome?
Me: Fine, no problems.
D: Awesome, awesome.  Well, let’s have a look.
     (Examines my teeth.)
      Your teeth look awesome.  Awesome work.
M: Thanks.
D: All right, kiddo, keep everything awesome.  Have an awesome day!

I am not exaggerating; this is exactly what he said yesterday.  Although I’m always happy to come away from the dentist’s office with a clean mouth and no cavities, I can’t help but grin like an idiot after that final conversation.

He also told me that my gums look a lot better than they did last time.  I have not changed a single thing in my routine of oral hygiene since my last visit. My gums are not riddled with gingivitis, but they are extremely sensitive.  If you look at them funny, they’ll bleed.  For that reason, I believe that the dental hygienist is the determining factor in my dentist’s prognosis of my dental health after the cleaning.

The hygienist I had yesterday was a doll.  I made her aware of the sensitivity situation and she gave me one of the most thorough, yet gentle cleanings I have ever had.  It was one of the few times I came away from the dentist without needing a shoulder and neck massage to relieve all the tension I had built up over the past 45 minutes.

There is, however, one hygienist at this dental practice that my family avoids like the plague.  She is older, stocky, has short grey hair, giant glasses and hardly ever smiles.  I am actually afraid of this woman.  She is so rough when she cleans my teeth that I literally have come away with a headache for three days afterwards.  She somehow manages to find all the extra-sensitive spots on my teeth and dig into them harder than anywhere else. After jabbing the scraper into my gums, she tells me that my gums bleed too easily and that I’m not brushing my teeth often enough.  The woman is completely mad.  I think she would get along with Jack Nicholson’s character in Little Shop of Horrors quite well.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Joy
    Apr 08, 2009 @ 11:25:44

    Isn’t it “awesome” to have such and “awesome” hygienist??? LOL!! They do make or break your visit. Like a bad nurse to a good doctor. They’re the ones who do all the “work” and you only see the doc or dentist for a few “awesome” minutes. Your dentist cracks me up. Maybe he breaths to much of the gas.


  2. nat @ book, line, and sinker
    Apr 08, 2009 @ 20:01:40

    awesome post! i love it. keep those choppers sparkling! 🙂


  3. In10Words aka "Galileo"
    Apr 08, 2009 @ 21:56:11

    My dentist is like that too. My hygenist is nice, but whenever she touches the sensitive areas or says something along the lines of “your gums are bleeding,” I just wish I could say back “it’s because your stabbing it with that dumb ice pick!”


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