I feel happy

Welcome, ladies and gents, to Day 6 of Annoyingly Stubborn Sickness, or, as I affectionately refer to it, ASS 2009.

The past five days have been filled with tiny hills of recovery scattered throughout deep valleys and crevices of feeling like poo.  My energy is all but gone; what remains is used to cough as hard and as long as I can.  I have tried OTC medications as well as home-brewed remedies, but all in vain.

I did buy a humidifier yesterday.  I decided on the anatomically correct penguin after an amusing discussion about the last post.  After much reflection, I realized that the frog reminded me a bit too much of the hypnotoad, and that any vapor that came out of an elephant’s trunk would remind me a little too much of snot.  Thus, the penguin.  It has lessened the severity of my respiratory ailment by a very slight amount.  However, even it couldn’t cure me completely, and after the fourth night in a row of cough-interrupted sleep, I finally broke down and saw the doctor.

I like my doctor a lot.  He’s a relatively young guy who understands my aversion to unnecessary drugs.  I also like that when I reply “I think I’m dying” to his query of “What seems to be the trouble,” he laughs.  I need a doctor with a sense of humor.

That said, I will not go in to see the doctor unless I really think I am dying.  It’s a strange paradox: I am a major hypochondriac, but I despise doctor’s offices.

Well, one doctor’s visit and a trip to the pharmacy later, I am loaded up with antibiotics and some cough syrup strong enough to take down Superman. This stuff is powerful: it works to suppress my cough within minutes, and it knocks me out flat.  The best part is, it tastes mighty good – not like that diluted OTC stuff that tastes like metallic poison masked with a thin layer of cherry.  It’s like my own bottle of Vitameatavegamin.

My doctor has also told me to take the rest of the week off from work.  At this point, I might as well, since I’ve already taken off the week so far, and it’s silly to come in for the last day or two.  At least now I have a doctor’s note.

So here I am, laid up in bed with nowhere to go for the next three days.  My plan is to get well the way humankind was meant to get well: watching TV.  I would read, but this kryptonite-laden cough syrup won’t let me focus my eyes well enough to do anything but stare blankly at a screen.  The only problem is that I don’t have TV.  I have a TV set, but no cable hookup. (That’s another story for another day.)  Since I’ve exhausted by supply of DVDs, and my next batch of Netflix isn’t here yet, I’ve resorted to watching YouTube, and probably will for the rest of the weekend.

YouTube isn’t all that bad.  Sometimes you find something worth watching. And if you’re lucky, it will hypnotize you into watching it again and again. Maybe it’s the cough syrup talking, but I can’t get enough of the video below. I find that nothing cheers one out of an ASS-induced funk like Beaker.

Edit: I originally posted this at 10:35 this morning.  As soon as the post was published, I took my teaspoon of cough syrup.  An hour later I was asleep.  It is now 5:05pm, and I just woke up.  Somehow my head can’t wrap itself around the reality of being awake.  It took me a couple minutes to realize that I am in fact typing on my laptop, and not dreaming.

That cough syrup is strong.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. nikki
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 10:44:45

    ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Put down the cough syrup Megan!!!!!! You sure you’re taking the right dosage?? You have me in tears! Wow it’s going to be quite an interesting weekend I imagine!!!!

    Reply

  2. Joy
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 11:06:10

    OMG….I swear I wet my pants a little!!! Oh god….this is hilarious. Watching that over and over…..can I borrow some of that syrup your taking????

    Reply

  3. In10Words aka "Galileo"
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 11:16:33

    All Glory to the Hypnotoad.

    (clap…clap…clap.)

    Reply

  4. Amy Hunter
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 18:19:48

    There’s codeine in that cough syrup, isn’t there? The first time I was given codeine cough syrup, I woke up in the middle of the night and saw a big hairy bug with neon blue spots on the wall. For some reason, it vanished when I hit it with a shoe. 😉

    Hope you’re feeling better soon!

    Reply

  5. Gary
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 22:19:14

    Your posts crack me up Megan! You should write a book or something!

    Hope you start feeling better soon!

    Reply

  6. In10Words aka "Galileo"
    Feb 13, 2009 @ 13:58:20

    I don’t know how it was possible, but I think I caught your ASS. 😦

    Reply

  7. mylesfromnowhere
    Feb 17, 2009 @ 18:05:18

    tee hee you said poo

    Reply

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