He of jellies with lemonpeels

My email servers are fairly decent at keeping the serious spam out of my inbox, but every once in a while one gets through.  Such an email managed to get through this evening from an unknown sender, and for some reason I decided to read it, rather than delete it on impulse. Perhaps it was the unusual subject, which read simply “>:-(” rather than the usual beseeching of “Miss Natalie Johnson” or one of her cohorts.

As to the movements of mr. Sanders.  He went out, on their best behavior throughout the visit.  But on her mother’s, and gazing into her face with london.  It is there that i shall then i shall noticed it, craddock pointed out.  There was he of jellies with lemonpeels cut in branches, long a meeting had better not be.  But in imagining birdies in the nest, and easter churchbells, and intention.  So with a rush she went on her way: be gorgeously salaried and equipped and fed by him myself.  But you knew him first . . . And he on him, and felt ashamed of his outburst.  He last: no, sir, i can’t say that i do really.  Unless side of the heath, or i should have so, by the have not come without such proofs as may convince.

This is not the first such email I have received, but it was certainly the most coherent.  About a week ago I received the following, with a subject heading of “:)”

Making new discoveries, and also for maintaining with great grief and stupefaction.  When morning gained, won of. Percipere fruges, to reap, cat.  On the same theme elsewhere.  Some allusion most i. P. Caesar’s campcastle of arques.  (dieppe, of water.  K. P. Singha is incorrect in taking the burwan version is 692.  Te in the first line men, is the spot known as vinasana, or the place and nonacquisition in the same light, that are sweet face.  Had he been an american, he would, is attainable?  Were they ignorant of the means indications are observable of good behaviour, chalmers.  Rot!  He’s a winger.  And so the selection better tools than axe, jackknives, and a rope, except one for 536. Animittatah is explained by.

I think what tickles me most about these emails is that the poor English has reverted beyond the soliciting spam that would arrive almost daily years and years ago, before the niece of a friend of an ambassador of a tiny province in South Africa got wise to our wising up.  I have no idea from whom these paragraphs of eloquent randomness come, but the utter gibberish that is trickling into my inbox makes me smile.

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