Sunday, 5:47am

Bladder: “Psst. Pssssst!”

Brain: “Zzzzzzzzzungh?”

Bladder: “Hey, Brain, wake up!”

Brain: “Huh? Why?”

Bladder: “I have to go to the bathroom.”

Brain: “OK, just a minnunzzgh.”

Bladder: “Wake up everyone else while you’re at it. We can’t do this alone.”

One trip to the toilet later…

Body: “Thanks, buddy. I’m going back to bed.”

Brain: “Wait, you got me up for that? But I’m not sleepy anymore.”

Body: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. But we don’t need to be up for another three hours or so. Let’s get a little more sleep.”

Brain: “I think it’s too late, dudette. You know how it works: once I’m up, it’s kind of difficult to get back to a non-waking state.”

Body: “Fine. Can you at least keep quiet while I lay still for a while? I’d like to rest while I still have a chance.”

Brain: “Sure, of course. Have a nice rest.”

Eight seconds later…

Brain: “You know what’s really neat? That dream I was having last night. Let me see if I can remember it. I was in the car, and…no, it was a van. That’s right, it was Mom’s van! But it didn’t look like her van. You know how in a dream you can be in a place, but it doesn’t look or feel like the place, but somehow you know it’s still the same place even though in real life you wouldn’t have recognized it? That’s how it was in this dream, only it was in Mom’s van. So anyway, I was driving Mom’s van, and…no, I wasn’t driving. Actually, nobody was driving. I was in the back seat and the car was moving, but nobody was in the driver’s seat, but I wasn’t worried because the parking brake…”

Body: “Hey! I’m trying to get some sleep here!”

Brain: “Oooooh, my bad. Sorry about that.”

Body: “It’s all right, but please…”

Brain: “Say no more. My lips are sealed.”

Body: “Good.”

Another eight seconds later…

Brain: “I think you should exercise more often.”

Body: “What?”

Brain: “You’re out of shape. You should definitely exercise more often. Actually, you should exercise, period. You don’t need to go to the gym, because there’s some stuff you can do right here in the bedroom. We’ve got that big old yoga ball…why not blow it up? Remember those exercises that trainer taught you last spring? Arms could do push ups while Feet are balanced on the ball, or Tummy could hold everybody up as Back balances on the ball while Arms lift weights. Actually, Arms don’t look so bad yet. But Tummy and Butt and Thighs are in sorry shape these days. I need to give them a good talking to.”

Thighs: “You know, Brain, it’s kind of hard to exercise first thing in the morning if you’re completely exhausted because someone upstairs was making too much noise and kept you awake all night.”

Brain: “Hey there, Thighs! Are you up, too?”

Thighs: “We’re trying not to be. We’re all trying to get some shut-eye down here, but you’re gabbing too much.”

Brain: “Oooh, so sorry, guys.”

Eyes: “Actually, we don’t want to stay shut anymore. Hands were rubbing us and now we’re kind of up, too.”

Tongue: “I’m a little dry. I sure could use some water. Do we have any water?”

Brain: “It’s on the night stand.”

Right Arm: “Where? I can’t find it.”

Brain: “Eyes, would you help Right Arm, please?”

Eyes: “Sure thing.”

Tongue: “Thanks, guys. I needed that.”

Left Arm: “Could you all move over, please? I’ve lost feeling because I had to be on the bottom tonight.”

Brain: “I have a better idea! Let’s go check our email!”


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