Megan – 79; Arachnids – 0

In the meanwhile, the arachnoid attack has begun once again. I have been fortunate enough not to have been directly approached by any unwanted little creeps. However, I have noticed an unusually high number of them and their webbed homes in the corners of the rooms, under window sills, and (I shudder to think) between the leaves of my beloved houseplants.

Under normal circumstances, I would command one of my housemates to dispose of the unwanted eight-leggers so that I would not have to deal with the possibility of retaliation. But seeing as how the house is in my sole custody until the end of the month, I must cope with the intruders alone.

It is generally known that I am far too terrified to draw near enough for proper skooshing. Once upon a time, I did attempt an offensive attack with the long handle of a broom on a medium-sized, spindly, weak-looking spider that had taken up residence behind our downstairs toilet. The rotten little bugger avoided the pressure of the broom handle by jumping aside at the last moment. Much to my horror, it then proceeded to scuttle down the length of the handle towards my hand. I prompty flung the broom into the bathroom, slammed the door and fled the house.

The problem with that scenario was that I gave my foe a solid means by which to cross enemy lines. I have since learned from that tactical error and have evolved my method of attack. Now, when I spot an unwanted intruder on the premises, I no longer reach for a long device with which to poke. I now reach for an aerosol can. I have avoided keeping Raid and other insecticides in the house, because they kill my plants and, quite frankly, I can’t stand the smell. However, I have discovered that a good spray of Lysol Spring Waterfall Disinfectant Spray not only allows me to eliminate my enemies from a distance, but leaves a fresh, clean scent worthy of my grandmother’s approval.

How bad has the invasion gotten, you ask? Let’s just say that my house smells really clean.


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