Let’s all make my wish come true!

At the request of some friends and family members I’ve begun to think about appropriate gifts for the upcoming anniversary of my birth. I figure that we’re all allowed three types of birthday wishes: the ginormous-realistic wishes; the smaller-reasonable-more-realistic wishes; and the extremely-unlikely-because-pigs-haven’t-yet-grown-wings wishes.

For at least five years I have wished for a Kitchen-Aid mixer. Foolishly, I always believed that this was, while ginormous, a reasonable birthday/Christkwansatfestkah/just-because-I’m-so-special wish. After years of raised and crushed hopes, I have grudgingly decided to replace the Kitchen-Aid wish with another. My ginormous-realistic wish this year is a new printer/scanner/copier to replace the now seven-year-old piece of of machinery for which I can no longer find ink cartridges. Because I feel that this is a very reasonable ginormous wish, I have alerted my mother. With any luck, she will also see that I receive a lovely wooden file cabinet upon which to set the printer/scanner/copier.

Smaller-reasonable-more-realistic wishes are reserved for friends and acquaintances with limited monetary resources, who probably purchase birthday gifts only because of a sense of obligation. Most of the time I don’t make these wishes, because people generally come up with better gifts on their own. I’d rather not interfere with the brewing of better ideas. Of course, if they wanted to get me a small house plant, potted flowers or gift certificates to Target, in case of a lack of inspiration, that would be lovely.

Extremely-unlikely-because-pigs-haven’t-yet-grown-wings wishes are meant for dreamers who realize that the act of wishing is oftentimes more fun than the wish actually coming true. We’ve all done it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of; wishing for the impossible is part of human nature. In the past years, my extremely-unlikely-because-pigs-haven’t-yet-grown-wings wishes have included ponies, puppies, magical powers, invisibility, omnipotence, Falkor, castles… everything a young girl could think of. This year, unfortunately, I thought of my extremely-unlikely-because-pigs-haven’t-yet-grown-wings wish a bit too late to be able to come true. However, with enough wish power and enough people demanding it, Wil Wheaton may actually come to my birthday party.

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